Thursday, May 1, 2008

TYFLM

Jon stood staring at the stone. He could hardly believe that she was gone. His world had fallen apart that day and he didn’t think he’d ever be the same. But here he was, still breathing, still living his life, still doing what he did best. The tour was starting in a week and he had wanted to come here before his other life took him across the globe. “Hey babe. I know it’s been a while, but things have gotten crazy. You know how it gets when a tour is looming.” He sighed heavily, “I miss you. The kids are doing all right, they miss you though.”

Jon wiped at the tear that had rolled down his cheek and sighed. Would he ever stop feeling like half of him was missing? “It’s time for me to go. I’ll be back when I can.” He kissed his fingers and ran them lightly across her name. He had loved her something fierce and in an instant, she was taken from him. As he walked back to his car he thought back to the day he lost her. It was a day he would never ever forget.

He had been home that particular day, a rarity for him. They had decided to have a family day, movies, pizza, games, whatever, as long as they were all together. It wasn’t often that they got to do that so they took advantage of that opportunity whenever it arose. She went out to get the movies and some soda and hadn’t come back. After an hour when he couldn’t get her on her cell, Jon started to worry. When the police showed up at his door he knew it couldn’t be good. He had never wanted so badly to be wrong about anything. She had been hit head on by a truck that had run a stop sign. Her SUV rolled and she had died instantly.

The events that followed were a blur now. Jon had held it together during the day for the kids, but at night, when he was alone, his grief overtook him, the sobs wracked him, leaving him hollow and spent. His friends and bandmates offered solace, but they could only do so much. They urged him to get back to work, maybe writing would help. He had taken their advice and now, here he was, about to set off on a world tour for an album that was so very close to his heart. He hadn’t been sure he could keep doing this but his friends had assured him he could.

With a sigh he put his sunglasses on and started the car, the kids were waiting at home for him. They were going to be with their grandparents and their nanny while he was gone and he wanted to spend as much time with them before he left as possible.

******************
“No.”

Obie pleaded, “but Jon, it’s a great song.”

Jon shook his head, “no Obie, not this song.”

They were trying to finalize the songs for the box set and Obie was bound and determined to include this one and Jon was just as determined that it wasn’t going to happen. It was too personal for him and he didn’t want to share it.

Obie tried again, “Jon the fans love this song, it needs to be on the set.” Jon stood, heading for the door, “dammit Obie, I said no! Not this song! Not on the box set, not live ever again! I just can’t do it.” As he walked out of the room the door slammed behind him, leaving Obie in stunned silence.

Jon left the studio and headed back to the house. In the den he shut the door and heaved out a sigh. He had written that song for her, trying to tell her thank you for all she was to him, for all she had given him, for being by his side and never doubting him. He had performed it on a few occasions, but it never failed to leave him fighting tears each time. His only regret about this song was that she never heard it, had never heard him sing it for her.

As he was sitting on the sofa an idea came to him. He ran back out to the studio and grabbed his guitar and headed for his car. The car ride was short, too short for him to change his mind. His heart grew heavier the closer he got. Walking up to the stone he paused and looked around, seeing no one, he lowered himself to the ground, “this is for you baby. I love you.”

It's hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There's no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light
Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

I never knew I had a dream
Until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes
The sky's a different blue
Cross my heart I wear no disguise
If I tried, you'd make believe
That you believed my lies

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

When I couldn't fly
Oh, you gave me wings
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me